Sunday, October 20, 2019

Mini Hiatus & Why I Resigned From My Job: Racism and Jealousy

Hey all! I was very busy and slightly stressed, but I am now back and better. After losing a toxic job in a toxic work environment over jealousy and racism, I have been in school and focusing on my school work and tending to my family. As of now, I have received a new job with better pay and closer to home. I am in the 9th week of uni as a junior in college and things are finally starting to properly fall into place. When I lost my job, I was not mad, but I was annoyed by the jealousy, racism, and micro-aggression that I did not realize until I had resigned. I don't dwell on past events but learn from them. Its crazy how I, a young, African American woman, was envied by a counterpart who was male, and much older. Let me tell you the story on how I was let go/ resigned from my last job. As a new nurse assistant, I needed training because I had just got my C.N.A licence and P.C.A certificate in August of 2018. It was the end of 2018 when I first started my job training at a hospital as a P.C.A. Right off the bat, I had a co-worker tell me that the work environment was full of racism and micro-aggression and that I should watch myself in a "looking out" type of way. I took it into consideration, but needed the job because I was pregnant with my son. I had a few uninterested trainers, but I did not let it get to me and just wanted to learn how to do my job. The environment itself was like high school. There were cliques everywhere. As time went on, I was learning efficiently on my own pace but apparently not fast enough for my job coaches. In March of 2019, I was admitted to the hospital for preclampsia because of high blood pressure. I ended up coming back to work in July of 2019. When I got back, I was assigned to a trainer who I trained with for the remainder of my time at the hospital. He seemed like a great trainer who I can say actually taught me some things ( I will give credit where it is due). I was oblivious to all the micro-aggression signs and it was the first time I had visibly experienced it. I was happy to tell  my seemingly joyful trainer about my school ventures because he would do the same, but in a more bragging and "I am much better than you type of way." He would constantly talk about his goals and accomplishments, but when it came to me talking about mine, he always seem visibly annoyed and uninterested. As he would train me, he would constantly nitpick and complain about how I was doing a certain task and contradicting the way he would teach me. I then called him out on it. He turned red because he did not expect me to do that and told me the things that I was "improving"on. The reason I used quotations marks is because I already knew I was improving. It came to a point where I was not believing in myself and that I began to make some mistakes. I told my job coach the issue of me not feeling like I belong and she shrugged it off saying by saying "that is just how people are". That may have been true, but no one deserves to feel like they are walking on egg shells at work. I began to lack confidence in my work that I was actually getting better at. It  came to a point where he lied about a situation that barred me from doing my duties as a nurse assistant, that lead to me resigning in September of 2019. I explained to the clinical director my side of the story but she took the side of my trainer. Now most people would say to fight it, but who wants to work somewhere where the environment does not want you to be? Karma is real for those who don't know. I never wish bad on those and never ever would plot revenge but people get what they deserve when it comes to those who do good. If I could have changed one thing during my time at that job, I would have went to Human Resources and filed a complaint. Today it is October 20th, 2019 and I will be starting my new job November 4th. Wish me luck!

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